Finance guy summed-up what I’ve been thinking lately: why is it is so easy for most people? You meet, fall in love, get married and have kids. Done! Romantic comedy stuff. But why is it so hard for others? He was so sincere I’m willing to forget some of the more ridiculous things he said that night. Word to the wise, never lead off a bbm convo at 3am with: “where’s the love. Can I come over”. I digress.
The game has changed. Girls are confused. Seemingly harmless words such as “date”, “like” and “exclusive” panic normal well-adjusted men. We never know where we stand. The lines are so blurry they pretty much don’t exist. Shit, it’s just a steak dinner, not an offer to father our children. Calm the eff down. When did “expectations” become a bad word that strikes fear into the hearts of men?
You have a better chance of finding Gucci heels on sale (If you do, please let me know where), than getting a boy to take you on a date, or ADMIT it is a date for that matter. That would create “expectations” *boy shudder*. (FYI if you are paying for the movie and we are sharing a desert it is a date). So here’s the problem that starts and ends with a bottle or two of wine: how do you get to know someone if you actually don’t do “stuff” together like say eating, a sport, an activity? (FYI a 2 hour convo at a party does not count as a date, and no I am not going home with you. You're a stranger buddy).
So I asked a man what he actually thought about this whole dating thing. Let’s keep an open mind here. I’ll call it man musings:
“The effort you get is the effort you command,” says my man source. Know your worth and don’t settle for less than you deserve. I’m not talking lavish gifts here, but respect, equality; generally caring about our well-being would be nice.
We have to try and let go of our shitty past relationships and all of the mind-effing that’s got us on edge. Boyfriend bonfire that baggage. As much as we like to say it, not ALL men are alike. Some are nice. I’ve met one I swear. Or was that a movie? Whatever. Anything is possible. My man source says men feel like they spend a ton on dinner and only get a kiss because she has not moved past the last guy who likely screwed her over (I added that last part). So men become a little less keen on dates. Hard to tell when women will actually appreciate the gesture.
Finally, man source says some women seem to want a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend. Cuz well, all their friends do. Men are concerned that women just want to change them. Women want “trainable men”. A boyfriend is not like a job, like a pet. A boyfriend is not malleable he says. Okay, we’ve all been guilty of this at some point. We think he is “almost” our perfect guy if only he loved dancing, cooking for me and dressed better. As much as we want men to accept us for ourselves lets do them the same favour. Besides aren’t relationships supposed to be about comprise? He can’t cook but he does the dishes, shirtless lets say. Doesn’t sound bad to me.
