Aye papi!!

So I’m out salsa dancing one night. I end up dancing the night away with a guy who was unanimously declared to be the “hottest guy in the club” and a helluva little dancer. So I didn’t hesitate the next weekend when he asked me out dancing. If nothing else I’ll get some good cardio. Win win really. Very gentleman-like he gives me a call before the date.

Boy: “I have a surprise for you!” he says excitedly.

Girl: “Really? Wow that’s so nice. I can’t wait.”

Boy: “you’re REALLY going to love it. It’s a surprise.”

So in my head I’m thinking flowers, candy, something small. I mean we just met. Nice gesture. Unexpected. I smile.

Fast forward to that night in line for coat check.

Boy: “do you want your surprise?” he’s smiling like the Cheshire cat.

Girl: “of course.” By now I’m pretty damn curious, and have consulted all my friends as to what it could be.

He reaches in his coat and pulls out a manila envelope. Hmmmm... that’s odd. Definitely not flowers.

Boy: “you’re going to REALLY love it!”

So I reach in and slowly pull out a photo. Puzzling. Then... I see my surprise.. Specifically, it’s an 8/10 glossy photo of my first date in a teeny tiny red speedo all greased-up and shiny flexing in a body building pose. I blush. My mind is literally blank. Shock and awe has new meaning. Shove it back into the envelope. We have an audience.

Boy: `do you like your surprise!?” he says excitedly and expectantly.

Shit. I’ve got to say something here. Wtf do you say when your first date gives you a glamour shot? This is weird right? Girl: ``ummm.. yes it`s great. Great photo.”

No doubt the man was seriously buff. Like yikes. He had a right to be proud. Just tooooo much. Tooooo soon.

That WAS a surprise.