Under the heading “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation”. Logistical phone call before 1st date confirming where and when to meet with a man that can only be described as LL Cool J’s twin. Seriously. He says out of the blue: “do you want children? When?”. Kinda heavy question from a strange man, but out of politeness I give my standard messaging: “of course. When I meet the right man.”. I can hear him nodding. Then his follow-up question hits me: “would your parents be opposed to you having a mixed-race baby?”. Ummm yeah that really just happened. “Of course not,” I say. This seems pre-mature. Thinking before we plan our lives together we can go see the movie.
So really the next date should not have come as a surprise. I’m explaining to him that while I have a good job, I live alone so I’m responsible for the mortgage, bills etc. He is nodding thoughtfully. “I’ll move in with you!!! I love it here!”. Ummmm... I don’t think we are quite ready for co-habitation yet.
Fast forward a few dates... we are walking my dog through my cookie-cutter suburban neighbourhood. “What are you waiting for!!” he exclaims, while waving his arms about, “you live in the perfect place to raise kids!!”. Me: “well I kinda have to find a man first....”. “You have me!!! Let’s get started right now!!” as he pulls me by the arm towards home. Okay, now I’m actually panicking a little because he is dead serious in impregnating me this afternoon. He continues: “our child would be attractive, except for the bad hair” (very true. Both our curly hairs together may result in a hair nightmare). “Yes, she would have problems,” I agree. He stops dead in his tracks turns and looks at me with the puppy dog face and says: “she??? Not a boy???”. Really, now we are arguing over the sex of our imaginary child with a man who isn’t even my boyfriend. I think I have a headache tonight.
